Questions about example sentences with, and the definition and usage of "Hyuna"

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Q: Hyuna Saejin is a seventeen years old korean girl who lives in Soul. When Ed Evans, her american father that who she didn't see for almost ten years is discovered dead in odd circumstances in a dark street of Seattle, she immediately decides to take a fly to usa in order to find the culprit. But as soon as she arrive there, she starts to feel strange. Her doubts are confirmed 2 days later, when she got prosecuted by an extremely fast stranger. She'll soon figure out that the murderes aren't the simple humans that she thought they were. Who killed her father ? actually, what ? And why ? She'll do everything she can to find out.

Hope it's correct, if it's not please correct it, thanks c: does this sound natural?
A: Hyuna Saejin is a *17-year-old* *Korean* girl who lives in Soul. When Ed Evans, her *American* father [leave out "that"] who she *hasn't seen* *in* almost 10 years, is discovered dead in [or "under"] odd circumstances in a dark street of Seattle, she immediately decides to take a *flight* to *the USA* in order to find the culprit. But as soon as she *arrives* there, she starts to feel strange. Her *suspicions* are confirmed two days later, when she *gets* [or "is"] *persecuted* by an extremely fast stranger.
She'll soon figure out that the murderers aren't the simple humans that she thought they were. Who killed her father? Actually, what killed her father? And why? She'll do everything she can to find out.

take a flight = take an airplane
You can say "in odd circumstances", but "under odd circumstances" sounds more natural.
Again, you can say "she gets persecuted", but "she is persecuted" sounds more natural.
In English we always capitalize "Korean", "American", and "USA".

I put the words I changed between two asterisks (*). And I put my notes between square brackets [ ].
You're English is good, so I looked for even the smallest mistakes. I hope this helps.
Q: Hey, Hyuna, you are my girlfriend. you have to at least text me one message per 4hour. Don't you think you are not considering me? Please pay attention and take care me. #Please make this sound natural#
A: Listen Hyuna, you are my girlfriend. You have to at least text me one message every 4 hours. Don't you think you are not being considerate of me? Please pay attention and take care of me.

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Hyuna

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