This is my practice for my test. It is not real topic just my brother gave me haha. I'm not good at writing English. Help me. Where is not natural or correct or logical ?

Should universities value employment or education?

Universities should focus on the education. I would prefer education than employment. Both of them are good way and better than not going to university.
But I’m just gonna write down good points about employment. Not everyone has a lot of money. Students who don’t have much money will be happy if they focus on the employment. It’s better to get a job if someone doesn’t want to learn in universities. and you have to spend much money if you want to go universities.
However, why do they go to universities from high school? Because they wanna study more about their chosen major than before. It is their choice!! How about that people who focus on employment go to a different university? I think this way must be better.
Universities should change in a good direction for their students to good way.

Question

This is my practice for my test. It is not real topic just my brother gave me haha. I'm not good at writing English. Help me. Where is not natural or correct or logical ?

Should universities value employment or education?

Universities should focus on the education. I would prefer education than employment. Both of them are good way and better than not going to university.
 But I’m just gonna write down good points about employment. Not everyone has a lot of money. Students who don’t have much money will be happy if they focus on the employment. It’s better to get a job if someone doesn’t want to learn in universities. and you have to spend much money if you want to go universities. 
 However, why do they go to universities from high school? Because they wanna study more about their chosen major than before. It is their choice!! How about that people who focus on employment go to a different university? I think this way must be better.
 Universities should change in a good direction for their students to good way.

Kassidy_Ramos · Accepted Answer

This is what I would say you should do to enhance your first paragraph: Both employment and and education are very important and have their pros, however, universities should focus on education. As a matter of fact, I would prefer education of employment. 
:)

KatrinatheTeacher · Answer

I will correct your writing sentence by sentence.  Hold on.  This will take a minute.

KatrinatheTeacher · Answer

Universities should focus on education. I would prefer that universities focus on education more than employment. Both of them are good and better than not going to university. There are a few good reasons that people would have for wanting universities to value employment. Not everyone has a lot of money. Students who do not have much money will be be happy if universities focus on employment. Students have to spend a lot of money going to University. But, it is better for someone to get a job if they want to focus on employment.

Why do people go to University? They go because they want to learn more about their chosen major. They are choosing to study and learn.

It would be better if those who want to have better work skills to go to a technical school. Universities should change to focus on students who are there to learn about their major .

Why do people go to University?  They go because they want to learn more about their chosen major.  They are choosing to study and learn.

It would be better if those who want to have better work skills to go to a technical school.  Universities should change to focus on students who are there to learn about their major .

KatrinatheTeacher · Answer

I tried not to change too much while still correcting your grammar.  I hope it helps.

KatrinatheTeacher · Answer

Oops!  Typo!

*It would be better if those who want to have better work skills go to a technical school.

Kassidy_Ramos · Answer

@Torontochano yes, you could say pros and cons

This is what I would say you should do to enhance your first paragraph: Both employment and and education are very important and have their pros, however, universities should focus on education. As a matter of fact, I would prefer education of employment. :)

This is what I would say you should do to enhance your first paragraph: Both employment and and education are very important and have their pros, however, universities should focus on education. As a matter of fact, I would prefer education of employment. :)

I will correct your writing sentence by sentence. Hold on. This will take a minute.

I tried not to change too much while still correcting your grammar. I hope it helps.

Oops! Typo!*It would be better if those who want to have better work skills go to a technical school.

@Torontochano yes, you could say pros and cons

Ask native speakers questions for free

This is what I would say you should do to enhance your first paragraph: Both employment and and education are very important and have their pros, however, universities should focus on education. As a matter of fact, I would prefer education of employment.
:)

This is what I would say you should do to enhance your first paragraph: Both employment and and education are very important and have their pros, however, universities should focus on education. As a matter of fact, I would prefer education of employment.
:)

Oops! Typo!

*It would be better if those who want to have better work skills go to a technical school.