22 Feb 01:11 AM

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Question about English (US)

Issue 132 1hour
Rubric: Some people believe that our ever-increasing use of technology significantly reduces our opportunities for human interactions. Other people believe that technology provides us with new and better ways to communicate and connect with one other.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

: There is much debate over the issue of whether our ever-increasing use of technology has a positive or negative impact on our communication or connection with one another. I believe that the development of technology provides us with more opportunities for human interactions. This is because technology enables us to overcome physical or temporal limitation and communicate with other people. Also, technology functions as a meeting square and facilitate the interaction of people who share their hobby or interest.
To begin with, thanks to the development of technology such as transportation advances or invention of the internet, people can communicate with other people no matter how far the distance of time or space is between both. In the past, it is impossible for people in South Korea to send a message or talk to others in the USA. However, it comes into possible owing to such development of technology mentioned above make a human being overcome the time or space limitations. Some opponents would assert that while such development improves opportunities of people for communicating with each other, most of such communications are impersonal or indirect like internet relay chat, so it goes without a word that it decreases the ability or opportunities of people for ‘real’ human interactions. However, indirect communications do not lead to a reduction of real interaction. Rather, indirect communication often gives impulsion to direct ‘real’ interaction. For instance, in my case, I had had pen pals since elementary school with Tom and we became friends through the pen pals. Also, we met 2 months ago in Hong-dae in South Korea, as he traveled to South Korea. Just as I made friends and met in some places, so too other peoples.
Also, technology connects countless people with each other and functions as a meeting plaza. People have posted their life, hobbies or unique experience on the internet such as internet café, blog, Instagram and Facebook and some people who share similar hobbies or live close often have a meeting in reality. Some challengers believe that it develops into feasible for people to live without going out as they can buy things, communicate and even work in their house, which causes the decline of necessity for going out and direct communication. However, even though people can live their lives without going out from their house due to development of technology, whether the effect of technology to be positive or negative depends on the inherent temperament of each person, not on the technology itself. Also, the advent of new technology sometimes drags homebodies out of their house. For example, Japan calls extreme homebody who hardly go out and contact with other people as a Hikikomori. It was a severe social problem in Japan, but the advent of VR technology and ‘pokemon go’ game based on VR gained sensational popularity with Japanese. After all, ‘pokemon go’ let a myriad of Japanese, including Hikikomori, to walk out from their house and roam around the whole town in search of pokemon.
In the end, I do agree with the claim that technology gives us new and better ways to communicate and connect with one another based on the following reasons: it lets people can communicate getting over the limitation of time or space, and functions as a meeting plaza. While the effect of technology can be negative, it depends on the temperament of a person, not on the technology itself. It goes without a word that technology provides us with tremendous opportunities for communication with other people.
does this sound natural?

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