01 Apr 04:46 PM

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Question about English (US)

My second body paragraph for Descriptive Narrative.

Oprah was sent to live with her father, who was strict and made education a highest priority for her, in Tennessee. It was a major turning point in her life. She began attending ◯◯ High School where she learned public speaking and drama and gained her outstanding skills; she was elected a school president. Furthermore, she participated in a speaking competition and won a full scholarship to ◯◯ University. Additionally, she was hired to read news by local radio station. Taking this opportunity, she started building her brilliant career.
does this sound natural?

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English (US)

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