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24 Apr 03:19 PM

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Question about English (UK)

(Please help revise my passage, thank you!!!)

Some people think university education should prepare
students for employment while others think it should help students acquire theoretical knowledge. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Requirements:
1. Write an argumentative essay based on the above
2. You should write an essay for at least 250 words and no more than 400 words

(This is my passage)

The debate over whether university education should prepare students for employment or help students acquire theoretical knowledge has raged for days. I maintain that the magnitude of acquiring theoretical knowledge is superior to prepare students for employment in college. In terms of substantive level, the reason mentioned below seems to be advisable and deserve more consideration.
First and foremost, it is equally true that we are in the optimum stage of study, which is inclusive of our patience and diligence.
Owing to the employment is an empricial thing that students enable reaping increasingly advantageous experience by themselves rather than systematically received avid knowledge concerning employment from university education. Accordingly, we ought to exert ourselves to learn professional knowledge.
And there is a further more subtle point we must consider. Learning knowledge of our major is an exceptionally intergral part during our college years that it will lays down a substantial foundation for our future work. Only if we press forward on ourselves specialized knowledge can we mitigate those corresponding problems and consolidate our professional ability.
To sum up, both means of university education will interplay each other. I just reckon that enhance individual theoretical knowledge as to your major in university is better than prepare employment. Whether my point of view is blessing or cursing is a difficult question to answer, yet the comfort or convenience it brings will not be eliminated.


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