もっと若いの日本人皆さん:

This question may seem a little weird or rude, but I promise I have no intention of offending anyone

Are the younger generation of Japanese very particular about the use of 敬語？And is it very prevalent in daily life, or only mostly present in professional settings?

お願いします！

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Country or region Vietnam

I'm not Japanese but I think most young people are not very good at 敬語, especially if they're not in the service industry or so.

0 likes 1 disagree

chat__errant

Country or region Japan

I'm a Japanese student.
I don't use 敬語 to my friends, but I use it to people older than me and people I've never met before. I almost don't use it to people younger than me, but if we aren't close, I use 敬語. So, 敬語 is mostly present in professional settings, but it is also prevalent in daily life.

2 likes

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@t___r
Thank you for your time, but you aren't the best person to answer the question. But I appreciate the effort.

@chat__errant
Thank you! Personally, for yourself, does 敬語 come naturally? As a 外人 still learning Japanese, I have to actively think about how to speak/write in an appropriate manner. It helps that most sources teach 敬語 as the first form of expression for learners, but I also personally dislike putting too much of a distance between myself and the person I'm talking to, because to me it feels insincere.

t___r

Country or region Vietnam

@ayzg That's actually what a Japanese friend of mine told me. And even though I'm not Japanese, I've been learning the language for years now.

2 likes

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@t___r
Thank you for that information! Nevertheless, I still think questions about culture are best answered by the people who live in it. Even now I still wouldn't consider myself qualified to answer questions about the culture of, say, Taiwan, even though I've been there eight times for work and stayed for up to a month each time.

Country or region Japan

Japanese people learn the honorific language at a very early age. Here's an interesting sample. This is a manga about a 5 year old girl, Yotsuba Koiwai. She cries and screams because she is separated from her father and her friends at a fireworks display. 「こいわい・よつば・です！」("This is Koiwai Yotsuba speaking!") It is very amusing because that is one of things that Japanese children actually do in such situations. Now she is speaking in the speech form of "です". The "です" speech is the simplest form of Japanese honorific language. Honorific language is a formal dress of language. Formal wear can be an armor, or a spacesuit, for a close encounter of the third kind with total strangers. Look at how she is in a place where she doesn't have anyone around her who knows her. For her, it's the same as being thrown out into space. So she wears a space suit of "です" and sends out an SOS desperately.

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@kasumi-09 I see! So as a consequence 敬語 would become rather second nature for natives, correct?
For you, personally, do you find it rude or disrespectful if someone neglects to use 敬語 towards you (but of course, assuming the content of their speech was neither insulting nor malicious)?

Like if someone like myself (as someone who you've "spoken" to before but can't really be considered "familiar") were to say to you "カスミさん、元気？" instead of "お元気ですか？", would you be offended?

Not trying to push boundaries here, but I do want to get a gauge of how important it is for me to learn/use 敬語 (although as a 外人 I think I might have it easier than a native)

Country or region Japan

@ayzg BTW do you think "She cries and screams because she is" should be "She is crying and screaming"?

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@kasumi-09

In this specific context, both are correct and using either is fine!

chat__errant

Country or region Japan

@ayzg
No problem.
Yes, for me 敬語 comes almost naturally because the use of 敬語 is one of Japan's customs. And I work part-time, so I got used to that. But I think 敬語 is difficult even for Japanese people, so sometimes I use it incorrectly, and sometimes it doesn't come out immediately, especially when I use complicated 敬語.
It is true that honorifics often make people feel a sense of distance, but in Japan, there is a way of thinking politeness is very important, so I think many people use polite language.
However, when I want to get along with someone, it sometimes takes me time to lose my honorifics, so I honestly think 敬語 is a bit of a hindrance when I make friends.

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@chat__errant

Thank you once again!
For the last question, I'd like to pose to you the same question as above:

Would you, personally, be offended if someone completely omits the 敬語 and speaks plainly, provided that the content of their speech was neither provocative nor insulting?

Country or region Japan

@ayzg Hmmm, if the person speaking to me is a Japanese speaker, I'm very sensitive to see how well he or she uses honorifics correctly. If it's a non-Japanese speaker like you, I am tolerant to it, but sometimes I correct the person's Japanese when I see he/she is capable of learning Japanese on higher level.

The honorific language has been used in Japan (and Korea) for over a thousand years, but it was only organized into a syntactic system a hundred years ago or so. The honorific system was studied and organized as an important function of the linguistic OS called "Japanese language" so that it would give authority to the emperor system. It would be too long to talk about this, so I won't do it here.

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@kasumi-09
Looks like I have a lot of learning to do!
By the way, if you don't mind sharing, how old are you? I don't need exact numbers, just a ballpark will do. Of course, you can refuse too.

Country or region Japan

@ayzg Over 18.

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@kasumi-09

Okay!
I know I ask a lot of questions, but thank you for putting up with me and for taking the time to answer. I truly appreciate it.

chat__errant

Country or region Japan

@ayzg
No, I am not offended.
In the case of an international person, I don't think that more and more Japanese people will not be offended. Even if it's Japanese, I don't care, wondering it's a friendly person.

ayzg

Country or region Singapore

@chat__errant
That's good to know!
Thank you very much for your time and attention, you have been of great help.