For example, on a table with your family, when you ask someone for something, how do you ask?

“Can I get the~?” Or
“Can you pass me the ~?”

I know both means the same thing but what’s the difference when interpreting the nuance behind it?

Question

For example, on a table with your family, when you ask someone for something, how do you ask?

“Can I get the~?” Or 
“Can you pass me the ~?”

I know both means the same thing but what’s the difference when interpreting the nuance behind it?

jessyyyyy · Answer

When you say “can i get the” you are asking for permission to take something from the table

When you ask “can you pass me the” it means you are asking someone from the family to give you or hand you over that something

jessyyyyy · Answer

Well haha its his/her mistake he/she should’ve asked can you pass me the or can you get me the..

OwLeho · Answer

They are both commonly used and very natural.

The main difference is that "Can I get the~?" is a lot more informal sounding, and it is more common to some dialects than others. It is a little more presumptuous and slightly almost demanding. It would be fine at the dinner table with close family. But it could sometimes seem rude if you were at a formal dinner, with strangers or important people or at a business fancy event, etc. It can just be a little too informal for some situations, if you don't know the people well and need to be a good guest, or if you want to impress someone with your behavior and manners.

“Can you pass me the ~?” is considered a bit more formal and a lot more polite, so it can be used in a variety of different situations without any problems. It might seem almost too polite when at an informal dinner with close family, but people would just think you are a very polite person and reassure you that you should feel welcome and can relax. It wouldn't be considered a bad thing though. And for most other situations, this would be the most appropriate and respectful phrasing, so it is a good all-purpose way to ask for something to be passed to you at the table.

OwLeho · Answer

@saki_0_0 Ah, okay. I see.

"Can I get~?" is like asking for access/permission so that they can get it themselves. Perhaps they need to reach around you, so they are asking to be polite, so that you know what they are reaching for and it will not seem rude. Or they might be asking for your help, to make it easier for them to do it, but they still want to mostly do it for themselves.

"Can you get me~?" is asking you to do it for them. As a favor. To just do it for them and then give them the result.

So "can I get a glass a water?" is asking for permission, if it would be alright for them to get themselves a glass of water from your kitchen because they are a guest but would not want to bother you.

"can you get me a glass of water?" is asking for you to get the glass and fill it and serve it to them.

"Can I get a tissue?" because the tissue box is behind you and hard for them to reach, so they are asking you to move out of the way a little bit, or to move the tissue box closer for so that they can reach it easier.

"Can you get me a tissue?" is asking you to grab a tissue out of the box and hand it to them directly.

It's not strict, since both ways can be interpreted/responded to in whatever way the person being asked finds easier or more logical to do. So if it makes more sense, or you are more comfortable, handing them the tissue box, then it doesn't matter which way they phrased it. Also sometimes people just say whichever phrase comes to mind first, and don't care too much which way it happens.

Cathy_Z · Answer

@saki_0_0 It’s more polite manners to say “Can you pass the ... please? And it’s even better to say “Would you” or “will you” instead of “can you”. Can implies ability (I can do something) and would implies will. A common joking reply is “I can” (but I won’t) when asked can you do something.

For example, on a table with your family, when you ask someone for something, how do you ask? “Can I get the~?” Or “Can you pass me the ~?”I know both means the same thing but what’s the difference when interpreting the nuance behind it? See a translation

When you say “can i get the” you are asking for permission to take something from the table When you ask “can you pass me the” it means you are asking someone from the family to give you or hand you over that something

Well haha its his/her mistake he/she should’ve asked can you pass me the or can you get me the..

For example, on a table with your family, when you ask someone for something, how do you ask?

“Can I get the~?” Or
“Can you pass me the ~?”

I know both means the same thing but what’s the difference when interpreting the nuance behind it?

See a translation

When you say “can i get the” you are asking for permission to take something from the table

When you ask “can you pass me the” it means you are asking someone from the family to give you or hand you over that something