Hello, I'm writing an essay introduction in English and I'd like to know whether it seems natural or not, in case it doesn't, what would you put instead?

Here's the sample:

The main groups of pathology are neurodevelopmental disorders whose onset occurs during infancy/childhood or adolescence, (intellectual disability, communication disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADD) and disruptive behavioral disorders (DBD), Specific learning disorder, developmental disorders, Social communication disorder (SCD), motor disorders, among others). Disorders related to the schizophrenia spectrum, psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, as well as those related to depression and anxiety, feeding, sleep or stress-related disorders also appear in this age group.

In schools there are no mental health professionals for school-age students and in many cases their behavior is disruptive and incompatible with a good coexistence.

In order to provide the best educational/therapeutic approach, and in compliance with the principles of normalization and inclusion of all students, ensuring their non-discrimination and effective equality in access and permanence in the educational system, it is proposed:

To include the structure of Educational Therapy Centers (ETC) within some ordinary schools, so that they become points of reference for students with mental health problems, that are able to give an immediate and appropriate response to mental health needs, both to students and families.

With these measures we will be able to speak of a true clinical/educational prevention in children and adolescents with mental health problems, offering adequate customer service for the families.

Thank you in advance.

Question

Hello, I'm writing an essay introduction in English and I'd like to know whether it seems natural or not, in case it doesn't, what would you put instead?

Here's the sample:

The main groups of pathology are neurodevelopmental disorders whose onset occurs during infancy/childhood or adolescence, (intellectual disability, communication disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADD) and disruptive behavioral disorders (DBD), Specific learning disorder, developmental disorders, Social communication disorder (SCD), motor disorders, among others). Disorders related to the schizophrenia spectrum, psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, as well as those related to depression and anxiety, feeding, sleep or stress-related disorders also appear in this age group.

In schools there are no mental health professionals for school-age students and in many cases their behavior is disruptive and incompatible with a good coexistence.

In order to provide the best educational/therapeutic approach, and in compliance with the principles of normalization and inclusion of all students, ensuring their non-discrimination and effective equality in access and permanence in the educational system, it is proposed:

To include the structure of Educational Therapy Centers (ETC) within some ordinary schools, so that they become points of reference for students with mental health problems, that are able to give an immediate and appropriate response to mental health needs, both to students and families. 

With these measures we will be able to speak of a true clinical/educational prevention in children and adolescents with mental health problems, offering adequate customer service for the families.

Thank you in advance.

GregT · Answer

good coexistence -> a peaceful coexistence

I would not say "non-discrimination" because it's not clear who is discriminating against who. I would say "avoiding discrimination and ensuring effective equality"

I don't understand what you mean by 'permanence' in the 3rd paragraph.

specailized in students -> specializING in students

being able -> that are able

close response -> not sure what you mean by this

GregT · Answer

@stkluis it's not clear to me what either word is really saying in that paragraph. Are you saying you want to make sure the students remain in the system despite having these problems? Maybe this:

"In order to provide the best educational/therapeutic approach, and in compliance with the principles of normalization and inclusion of all students, to avoid discrimination and promote equal access and continued participation in the educational system."

Just a suggestion.