Question
Updated on
9 Apr 2021
- English (US)
-
Korean
Question about English (US)
Does this sound natural?
"After rummaging through all the aisles of the market, You've finally got all the things listed by your mom. You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it" you mumbled, irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you've expected."
Does this sound natural?
"After rummaging through all the aisles of the market, You've finally got all the things listed by your mom. You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it" you mumbled, irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you've expected."
"After rummaging through all the aisles of the market, You've finally got all the things listed by your mom. You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it" you mumbled, irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you've expected."
Answers
When you "disagree" with an answer
The owner of it will not be notified.
Only the user who asked this question will see who disagreed with this answer.
9 Apr 2021
Featured answer
- English (US)
do you mean to put it all in the past tense, as if you're telling someone what they already did? the tenses are a little mixed up.
here's how I would re-write it: (without taking out too many of your words)
After rummaging through all the aisles in the market, you finally got all the things your mom listed. You happily sprint toward the cashier but as soon as you get there - your shoulders slump as you realize there are 2 people ahead of you.
Dang it, you mumble.. irritated that you have to wait longer than you planned.
Highly-rated answerer
Was this answer helpful?
Obviously wrong
Explanation is not enough
Written in a language I can't understand
Answer is not related to the question
Other reason
Read more comments
- English (US)
do you mean to put it all in the past tense, as if you're telling someone what they already did? the tenses are a little mixed up.
here's how I would re-write it: (without taking out too many of your words)
After rummaging through all the aisles in the market, you finally got all the things your mom listed. You happily sprint toward the cashier but as soon as you get there - your shoulders slump as you realize there are 2 people ahead of you.
Dang it, you mumble.. irritated that you have to wait longer than you planned.
Highly-rated answerer
Was this answer helpful?
- English (US)
- Filipino
I will mark the words in my correction with [ ] so you can see the difference.
You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you. ❌
You happily sprinted towards the cashier[.] (You can end your sentence here)
[As soon as you reached there however,] (although you can use but, I just feel "however" would fit in a narrative like this. Then I made the order of sentence like this so it would give a nice feel to it) your shoulders slumped [in disappointment] (you can add this to add a bif of color to your narrative) as you [see] (because the realize word needs to take place in a context where you ponder and contemplate carefully) that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it[,]" (don't forget to put punctuations inside your quoted sentence) you mumbled[.] (You can end the sentence here) Irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you have expected.
You happily sprinted towards the cashier. As soon as you reached there however, your shoulders slumped in disappointment as you see that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it," you mumbled. Irritated that you'll have to wait longer than expected. ✔️
I hope that I was of any help to you :)
Was this answer helpful?
- English (US)
[News] Hey you! The one learning a language!
Do you know how to improve your language skills❓ All you have to do is have your writing corrected by a native speaker!
With HiNative, you can have your writing corrected by native speakers for free ✍️✨.
With HiNative, you can have your writing corrected by native speakers for free ✍️✨.
Sign up
Related questions
Similar questions
- Does anyone in the US understand the expression watchamacallit?
- Does the vampire culture very popular in the western countries?Any cartoons concerned?
- Which Does it make you always happy to have children ? sounds the most natural?
Recommended Questions
- ｛題名｝ *提供いただきたい資料一覧 ｛Excelの項目｝ *提供いただきたい資料 *資料有無 *(資料有の場合)資料名 Excelの項目で、短くビジネス用語で書きたい場合...
- "We walked to the station in 10 minutes." This sentence was on a textbook, and it said it mean...
- Does this sentence sound natural? （Is the relative pronoun "that" okay?） If there's someone that...
- 1. Thanks to you, I had a much better understanding. 2. Thanks to you, I gained a much better un...
- why the AI is available to premium now? it's honestly disrespectful for the long time Hinative su...
Topic Questions
- These revisions maintain the same meaning while providing a smoother flow to the sentences. Is t...
- Does this sound natural? "People tend to get quite flustered when they stumble over their words o...
- why the AI is available to premium now? it's honestly disrespectful for the long time Hinative su...
- 📍Does this sound natural? "Lately, he's been looking rough and tired because his sleep schedule g...
- Could I ask what’s the difference between A and B? A) X negated the magic! B) X nullified the m...
Newest Questions
- (at an ESL class) "Please check your answers against your partner's ones." Hello! Do you thin...
- Does this dialogue sound natural? M: Would you like your drinks now or with your meal? W: I'm ...
- Do these convey pretty much the same meaning? Things aren't going my way. /Some things are out of...
- Is “hands down” a synonym for “definitely” or “absolutely”?
- Changing the beginning date of the Fellowship to be 1/6/2024 instead of 1 /5/2024. Does thi...
Previous question/ Next question
What’s this symbol?
The Language Level symbol shows a user's proficiency in the languages they're interested in. Setting your Language Level helps other users provide you with answers that aren't too complex or too simple.
-
Beginner
Has difficulty understanding even short answers in this language.
-
Beginner-Intermediate
Can ask simple questions and can understand simple answers.
-
Intermediate
Can ask all types of general questions and can understand longer answers.
-
Advanced
Can understand long, complex answers.
Sign up for premium, and you can play other user's audio/video answers.
What are gifts?
Show your appreciation in a way that likes and stamps can't.
By sending a gift to someone, they will be more likely to answer your questions again!
If you post a question after sending a gift to someone, your question will be displayed in a special section on that person’s feed.
Tired of searching? HiNative can help you find that answer you're looking for.
Thank you! Rest assured your feedback will not be shown to other users.
Thank you very much! Your feedback is greatly appreciated.
