Question
Updated on
9 Apr 2021
- English (US)
-
Korean
Question about English (US)
Does this sound natural?
"After rummaging through all the aisles of the market, You've finally got all the things listed by your mom. You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it" you mumbled, irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you've expected."
Does this sound natural?
"After rummaging through all the aisles of the market, You've finally got all the things listed by your mom. You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it" you mumbled, irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you've expected."
"After rummaging through all the aisles of the market, You've finally got all the things listed by your mom. You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it" you mumbled, irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you've expected."
Answers
9 Apr 2021
Featured answer
- English (US)
do you mean to put it all in the past tense, as if you're telling someone what they already did? the tenses are a little mixed up.
here's how I would re-write it: (without taking out too many of your words)
After rummaging through all the aisles in the market, you finally got all the things your mom listed. You happily sprint toward the cashier but as soon as you get there - your shoulders slump as you realize there are 2 people ahead of you.
Dang it, you mumble.. irritated that you have to wait longer than you planned.
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- English (US)
do you mean to put it all in the past tense, as if you're telling someone what they already did? the tenses are a little mixed up.
here's how I would re-write it: (without taking out too many of your words)
After rummaging through all the aisles in the market, you finally got all the things your mom listed. You happily sprint toward the cashier but as soon as you get there - your shoulders slump as you realize there are 2 people ahead of you.
Dang it, you mumble.. irritated that you have to wait longer than you planned.
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- English (US)
- Filipino
I will mark the words in my correction with [ ] so you can see the difference.
You happily sprinted towards the cashier but, as soon as you reached there, your shoulders slumped as you realized that there is a line of two people in front of you. ❌
You happily sprinted towards the cashier[.] (You can end your sentence here)
[As soon as you reached there however,] (although you can use but, I just feel "however" would fit in a narrative like this. Then I made the order of sentence like this so it would give a nice feel to it) your shoulders slumped [in disappointment] (you can add this to add a bif of color to your narrative) as you [see] (because the realize word needs to take place in a context where you ponder and contemplate carefully) that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it[,]" (don't forget to put punctuations inside your quoted sentence) you mumbled[.] (You can end the sentence here) Irritated that you'll have to wait longer than you have expected.
You happily sprinted towards the cashier. As soon as you reached there however, your shoulders slumped in disappointment as you see that there is a line of two people in front of you.
"Dang it," you mumbled. Irritated that you'll have to wait longer than expected. ✔️
I hope that I was of any help to you :)
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