I think it's very weird even disrespectful that to the dead loved one is called "bonehead". This is the whole sentence:

"Never seemed to take life seriously but did. Always was laughing. When the chips were down, you could count on him. I miss him more than words can say. I love you bonehead 😥 From your older brother, me. "

This was some memorial site

Question

I think it's very weird even disrespectful that to the dead loved one is called "bonehead". This is the whole sentence:

"Never seemed to take life seriously but did. Always was laughing. When the chips were down, you could count on him. I miss him more than words can say. I love you bonehead 😥 From your older brother, me. "   

This was some memorial site

isthmus_x · Answer

@Babbaaabaa

If you really love someone, it's normal to call them by some horrible name. It shows how much you care.

isthmus_x · Answer

@Babbaaabaa

Not really. I've heard a lot worse

isthmus_x · Answer

@Babbaaabaa

Nothing is malicious. It's all a complete illusion. The universe is completely built on a substrate of golden love. It doesn't matter what you do or what you think, the only thing that really exists is love. I have seen the golden substrate. It's so beautiful. Everyone should just dig it and relax.

C_Sunberg · Answer

Bonehead is a good natured insult, if that makes any sense. It has to be said the right way and in the right context of course, otherwise it is just an insult. It is pretty tame.

C_Sunberg · Answer

Yup, it can be. I wouldn't say it to someone I didn't know real well.

C_Sunberg · Answer

Right. It is really nuanced. I guess it is ambiguous until you get a feel for the relationship between the two. This sometimes happens with "insult" words that aren't very sharp. It could be a term of affection or just a "elbow in the rib" type of term, meaning it is derisive but still has some good nature to it. If you wanted it to be a deep insult you would say something much worse. 
From the little I've observed (been to Sweden once and have some Swedish friends/family) I can't think of an equivalent in Swedish culture, although I'm sure it exists in some circles. You kind of just have to get a feel for this kind of thing. You can sometimes tell from the tone of their voice and their actions if they mean it in a more negative or positive way, other times it is up in the air for a while (can be used in movies to create a sort of suspense). The affectionate way is usually used with good friends, but you could also be friends with your siblings. 
Sorry if I can't clear it up any more, it probably sounds weird that some words can be used in an affectionate or insulting way.

C_Sunberg · Answer

Yeah it was probably like a pet name he called him when he was alive. It is something personal about their relationship and probably makes him feel closer. You wouldn't use it in an affectionate way unless you are close to someone. It is definitely good natured in this case. It wouldn't be normal in a lot of cases. 
Like, I gather that nobody would call you "bonehead" because they would know you wouldn't like it.

C_Sunberg · Answer

I was talking about the text above. 
"Stupid" might be a bit harsh but I have heard it used in a good way. For example some of the girls I hang out with might say, "Your so stupid," if I'm doing something silly to be funny and I take it to be good natured (I feel like that is just my friends though and that's not normal).  At the same time if they said the same thing in an angry or bad tone of voice it would be really insulting to me. 
With "bonehead" sometimes there are people who tend to be impulsive or sometimes have poor judgment and they know it, and they might have a friend who is more responsible by nature, so they don't mind being called bonehead because they need the reminders and it shows their friend really cares about them. 
Sibling relationships can be complicated but, from my own experience, older brothers tend to be protective of their younger siblings and want them to make the right decisions, so they might tell them they're being a "bonehead" if they're making a bad decision. 
These are just a couple examples, it really depends on the relationship. You can see how it is really nuanced. There could be some examples where bonehead is used when there is no sign of bad judgment, etc. but I don't know. Typically "stupid" would just be insulting. "Bonehead" is really of those contextual words whose use is hard to clarify.

C_Sunberg · Answer

Yup

C_Sunberg · Answer

It can be hard for a native speaker, so that's totally normal. If you watched the movie "Grown Ups" you might think all the friends don't like each other, but really they are just having fun. Sometimes people will say something like "I'm just razzing you," to make it clear they are just joking.

C_Sunberg · Answer

Not necessarily for me personally in those specific cases, but sometimes it can be hard to know in some cases even for me. I would say it's becoming less and less common, so even a lot of younger native speakers might find it difficult to know if it is out of love or malice.

C_Sunberg · Answer

It really just has to do with their relationship. I'll be honest, I'm a guy and I wouldn't call my buddy sweetheart.

Yasmine_thesandwich · Answer

Sometimes, insults like this can be used in an affectionate or loving way between two people who are close.

Yasmine_thesandwich · Answer

@Babbaaabaa I've seen the movie! It's pretty good.

Yasmine_thesandwich · Answer

@Babbaaabaa I think it was said in an affectionate way since they are brothers

Sometimes, insults like this can be used in an affectionate or loving way between two people who are close.

@Babbaaabaa

If you really love someone, it's normal to call them by some horrible name. It shows how much you care.

Okay, if that's the case then I guess it's fine when the older brother from the movie Big hero 6 said "I hope you learned your lesson, bonehead" (after the younger one did some dangerous and illegal stuff) Have you seen the movie by the way?

@isthmus_x Thank you, do you consider "bonehead" horrible?

@Babbaaabaa I've seen the movie! It's pretty good.

@Yasmine_thesandwich That's great! :) And yes, it was fantastic movie! So, do you think that "I hope you learned your lesson, bonehead" said by Tadashi was just an affectionate or loving like you said? Not insulting at all?

@Babbaaabaa

Not really. I've heard a lot worse

@isthmus_x Thanks :) Have you seen the movie Big hero 6? Or do you think without watching that was that "I hope you learned your lesson" offensive/insulting or malicious? Actually, I got the link here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtmA7f7bCBU

@Babbaaabaa I think it was said in an affectionate way since they are brothers

Bonehead is a good natured insult, if that makes any sense. It has to be said the right way and in the right context of course, otherwise it is just an insult. It is pretty tame.

@C_Sunberg Did you mean "Yeah it was probably like a pet name he called him when he was alive" from the text above or that movie Big hero 6 and that scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtmA7f7bCBU ?

@C_Sunberg Okay, thanks I think I get it. So "stupid" is stronger than "bonehead"?

Yup

Okay, thanks :) I'm glad it was just a pet name in the movie and the text above. :) Maybe I just don't understand this kind of language :D

It can be hard for a native speaker, so that's totally normal. If you watched the movie "Grown Ups" you might think all the friends don't like each other, but really they are just having fun. Sometimes people will say something like "I'm just razzing you," to make it clear they are just joking.

@C_Sunberg So did you mean that even though your native language is English, is even to you hard that is "bonehead" meant to be affectionate in the text above or the movie I talked about? Or what did you mean by that: "It can be hard for a native speaker, so that's totally normal."

Not necessarily for me personally in those specific cases, but sometimes it can be hard to know in some cases even for me. I would say it's becoming less and less common, so even a lot of younger native speakers might find it difficult to know if it is out of love or malice.

It really just has to do with their relationship. I'll be honest, I'm a guy and I wouldn't call my buddy sweetheart.

Ask native speakers questions for free

Sometimes, insults like this can be used in an affectionate or loving way between two people who are close.

@Babbaaabaa If you really love someone, it's normal to call them by some horrible name. It shows how much you care.

Okay, if that's the case then I guess it's fine when the older brother from the movie Big hero 6 said "I hope you learned your lesson, bonehead" (after the younger one did some dangerous and illegal stuff) Have you seen the movie by the way?

@isthmus_x Thank you, do you consider "bonehead" horrible?

@Babbaaabaa I've seen the movie! It's pretty good.

@Yasmine_thesandwich That's great! :) And yes, it was fantastic movie! So, do you think that "I hope you learned your lesson, bonehead" said by Tadashi was just an affectionate or loving like you said? Not insulting at all?

@Babbaaabaa Not really. I've heard a lot worse

@isthmus_x Thanks :) Have you seen the movie Big hero 6? Or do you think without watching that was that "I hope you learned your lesson" offensive/insulting or malicious? Actually, I got the link here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtmA7f7bCBU

@Babbaaabaa I think it was said in an affectionate way since they are brothers

Bonehead is a good natured insult, if that makes any sense. It has to be said the right way and in the right context of course, otherwise it is just an insult. It is pretty tame.

@C_Sunberg Did you mean "Yeah it was probably like a pet name he called him when he was alive" from the text above or that movie Big hero 6 and that scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtmA7f7bCBU ?

@C_Sunberg Okay, thanks I think I get it. So "stupid" is stronger than "bonehead"?

Yup

Okay, thanks :) I'm glad it was just a pet name in the movie and the text above. :) Maybe I just don't understand this kind of language :D

It can be hard for a native speaker, so that's totally normal. If you watched the movie "Grown Ups" you might think all the friends don't like each other, but really they are just having fun. Sometimes people will say something like "I'm just razzing you," to make it clear they are just joking.

@C_Sunberg So did you mean that even though your native language is English, is even to you hard that is "bonehead" meant to be affectionate in the text above or the movie I talked about? Or what did you mean by that: "It can be hard for a native speaker, so that's totally normal."

Not necessarily for me personally in those specific cases, but sometimes it can be hard to know in some cases even for me. I would say it's becoming less and less common, so even a lot of younger native speakers might find it difficult to know if it is out of love or malice.

It really just has to do with their relationship. I'll be honest, I'm a guy and I wouldn't call my buddy sweetheart.

Ask native speakers questions for free

@Babbaaabaa

If you really love someone, it's normal to call them by some horrible name. It shows how much you care.

@Babbaaabaa

Not really. I've heard a lot worse

@isthmus_x Thanks :) Have you seen the movie Big hero 6? Or do you think without watching that was that "I hope you learned your lesson" offensive/insulting or malicious? Actually, I got the link here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtmA7f7bCBU