that’s a really good question! I’ll explain it with some examples.
So “joder” is the verb in Latin American Spanish because in Spain it basically means fuck. Like “joder, nunca me escuchas!” (Fuck, you never listen to me!)
Here in Latin America we don’t use the verb joder in its base form. It’s always conjugated(? So that’s why we say joda instead of joder. Imagine saying in English “it bother me”... it doesn’t make sense, right? The correct way to say(conjugating the verb) would be “it botherS me”
When you say “que no joda”, it’s like “that (personal pronoun) does not bother me”. Remember in Spanish we use “that” (que) a lot. Not to point out for something, just to join ideas.
It’s not a command because you never say it directly to that person. If you wanna be upfront, you say “no me jodas” (don’t bother me). We normally say “que no joda” when we are with somebody else. It’s a phrase to show you’re uncomfortable, irritated or mad.
It is strong, indeed. We usually say it when we’re with some friends. It’s uncommon to say it in your family if there’s your grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, etc. Otherwise, we would look like disrespectful even though we’re not talking about them but a friend who was irritating.
If you have any questions, you can ask me! Hope this explanation helped and you could find a good translation for it ‘cause I need it jiji
Ps: joder does not equal bother. It has a strong meaning since it’s considered foul language