30 Mar 2017

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Question about English (US)

What do you think about this story that I wrote? Does this sounds natural?
What could I make to improve? What is wrong?

Once, when I was a child, I was going to my aunt’s house with my mom, my aunt and two cousins called Debora and Thiago.
They were betting who walks faster, there was a space between them and I thought: “To show me off, I will run instead of walk like them and pass in the space between them”, then, I ran and when I was near them, they were closer, so I hit Thiago and Debora, everybody fell down.
In the end, I didn’t hurt anything, Thiago didn’t hurt too and Debora hurt more seriously, her face and elbow were bleeding.


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