With a view to making contributions to increase market liquidity, ... does this sound natural?

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liquidnitrogen

13 Dec 2014

Featured answer

English (UK)
English (US)

A little unnatural

Yes, indeed. It is a rather wordy paragraph/sentence.

If you wrote this yourself, do note that brevity is valued in writing (The shorter, the better). As such, some unnecessary words should be removed. Also, try to break up long sentences into shorter ones, so as to reduce the chances of making errors in writing.

There were some minor grammatical errors within this paragraph. You will find an edited paragraph below.
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Companies can establish platforms across various types of financial institutions, be it domestic or foreign. These platforms will be set up in accordance with applicable Chinese law. Through experience and the use of advanced technology and scientific management methodologies, these companies are now equipped to provide services to customers, both in China and abroad. These contributions serve to improve the system of operations in Shanghai, and allows for Shanghai to become a global financial hub. Simply put, the facilitation of these plans will accelerate the development of China's market.
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liquidnitrogen

13 Dec 2014

English (UK)
English (US)

A little unnatural

The word "view" should be replaced with the word "intent". It would probably be more appropriate given the nature of the topic.

The corrected sentence would read, "With an intent to make contributions in order to increase the liquidity of the market... ..."

It should be noted that it might've helped more if you'd provided the full excerpt of the sentence so as to clarify the context.

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liyanrock

13 Dec 2014

Simplified Chinese (China)

Thank you so much for answering my question, here is the full sentence "To the extent permitted by Chinese policies and regulations, the company will establish a platform among various types of domestic and foreign financial institutions (in particular, banks), deliver the excellent and professional broking service to the customers both at home and abroad by leveraging its own expertise and advantages and adopting advanced technology and scientific management methodology, with a view to making contributions to increase market liquidity, enrich the function system of Shanghai as an international financial center, facilitate the level of professionalized divisions on China’s money market and accelerate the development of China’s money market." I am not kidding, this is the full sentence shown on the page, only one full stop! Isn't it too verbose?

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