15 Dec 2014

  • Japanese
  • English (US)
Question about English (US)

I've written a essay about "The people who want to get Plastic Sugery" below.Can anyone revise it?

I think that it's one of the better strategies for the people who don't have confidence to be confident .But it seems to have some problems.As for these problems, I'm going to mention them below.

First of all, let's think about the people who don't have confidence.In terms of physical traits, they tend to have bad posture with a hunched back.Also, they can't see into people's eyes directly.In addition, theyhave awkwardepression.When it comes to mental traits, they want to be accepted by people.As you can see, it might cause them to feel unhappy. And I think that everone seek happiness.That's why, they'd better overcome their weakness.So, how do they get confidence?

Now, let's think about the methods of getting confidence.In my opinion, there are 2 methods.Firstly, getting Plastic Surgery and having the ability that you can be proud of. Mehod 1 seems to have some bad effects.For instance, if you will have your own children, you might be afraid of your baby's appearance as well as the reaction of the people around you will be changed somehow.

Even though, there are some disadvantages, it's still an effective method to be confident.
Because you can gain a lot of confidence easily despite of the neet to have enough money.
Given these oints, I think that it's worthy to consider getting Plastic Surgery, if you can't feel confident enough and able to afford it.Then, why not?

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