Question
Updated on
23 Apr 2017
- Japanese
-
English (US)
Question about English (US)
I would be more than happy if anyone could give me any feedback to the following summary from grammatical, collocational and meaning's viewpoint.
Topic:
The future of the tourist industry in my city
Body:
It is highly probable that our city will hardly benefit from the tourist industry not only globally but also internally.
To begin with, we won’t be able to make the most of the coming Olympic games. In the first place, my city, Tsukuba is located in northern suburbs of Tokyo. Besides, we as Japan are going to host the Olympics in 2020. In general, both before and during the Olympic games, our city has a chance to gain economic benefits provided by travelers who will visit Japan with interest in the Olympic games. However, It has turned out that our city will not be in the list of cities which will accommodate its teams and audiences. Even though our country is the host of the worldwide games, we as a city will find it difficult to enjoy financial benefits from them unless they physically come to our region.
From a domestic point of view, our city is know to lack appeal. as it is a city of academic research, and holds a number of research institutes including JAXA, Tsukuba University, and the laboratory of physical and chemical science, it is the case that many scientists and researchers visit our city. However, they tend to spend a smaller budget shopping and sightseeing than general tourists. To put it simply we haven’t made the most of our visitors. Given this, it is urgent to firstly plan how to enhance the attractiveness of the city and secondly roll out concrete initiatives to implement the plans. I am convinced that if residents of our city cooperate together, we will succeed in realizing an attractive city. Does this sound natural?
I would be more than happy if anyone could give me any feedback to the following summary from grammatical, collocational and meaning's viewpoint.
Topic:
The future of the tourist industry in my city
Body:
It is highly probable that our city will hardly benefit from the tourist industry not only globally but also internally.
To begin with, we won’t be able to make the most of the coming Olympic games. In the first place, my city, Tsukuba is located in northern suburbs of Tokyo. Besides, we as Japan are going to host the Olympics in 2020. In general, both before and during the Olympic games, our city has a chance to gain economic benefits provided by travelers who will visit Japan with interest in the Olympic games. However, It has turned out that our city will not be in the list of cities which will accommodate its teams and audiences. Even though our country is the host of the worldwide games, we as a city will find it difficult to enjoy financial benefits from them unless they physically come to our region.
From a domestic point of view, our city is know to lack appeal. as it is a city of academic research, and holds a number of research institutes including JAXA, Tsukuba University, and the laboratory of physical and chemical science, it is the case that many scientists and researchers visit our city. However, they tend to spend a smaller budget shopping and sightseeing than general tourists. To put it simply we haven’t made the most of our visitors. Given this, it is urgent to firstly plan how to enhance the attractiveness of the city and secondly roll out concrete initiatives to implement the plans. I am convinced that if residents of our city cooperate together, we will succeed in realizing an attractive city. Does this sound natural?
Topic:
The future of the tourist industry in my city
Body:
It is highly probable that our city will hardly benefit from the tourist industry not only globally but also internally.
To begin with, we won’t be able to make the most of the coming Olympic games. In the first place, my city, Tsukuba is located in northern suburbs of Tokyo. Besides, we as Japan are going to host the Olympics in 2020. In general, both before and during the Olympic games, our city has a chance to gain economic benefits provided by travelers who will visit Japan with interest in the Olympic games. However, It has turned out that our city will not be in the list of cities which will accommodate its teams and audiences. Even though our country is the host of the worldwide games, we as a city will find it difficult to enjoy financial benefits from them unless they physically come to our region.
From a domestic point of view, our city is know to lack appeal. as it is a city of academic research, and holds a number of research institutes including JAXA, Tsukuba University, and the laboratory of physical and chemical science, it is the case that many scientists and researchers visit our city. However, they tend to spend a smaller budget shopping and sightseeing than general tourists. To put it simply we haven’t made the most of our visitors. Given this, it is urgent to firstly plan how to enhance the attractiveness of the city and secondly roll out concrete initiatives to implement the plans. I am convinced that if residents of our city cooperate together, we will succeed in realizing an attractive city. Does this sound natural?
Answers
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- English (US)
- Filipino
Natural
I think this is the only thing i'll change from your summary
"From a domestic point of view, our city is "known" to lack appeal."
Otherwise, I think what you've written is really good and it is also an interesting summary to read :)
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- Japanese
Thank you for your comment!
If you have any suggestion about how to modify the sentence, then it would be highly appreciated.
If you have any suggestion about how to modify the sentence, then it would be highly appreciated.
- English (US)
- Filipino
Natural
You're welcome! The only modification i would suggest is the one that I have mentioned on the comment above. Other than that i think everything else is written well.
Was this answer helpful?
- Japanese
Ah Now, I get it. 'Know' was a typo actually. Many thanks for your clarification:)
- English (US)
- Filipino
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