5 Jul 2017
Native language
Japanese
Question about English (UK)
15の夜---尾崎豊
A Teen age's night---Yutaka Ozaki
盗んだバイクで走り出す。行き先も分からぬまま、暗い夜の帳の中へ。
I'm... Running away on the motorcycle which I stole on the road.
I don't know where am I going to go....I am going into the darkness which nothing known my destination.
覚えたての煙草をふかし、星空を見つめながら、自由を求め続けた、15の夜。
Smoking cigarettes are not tasty but I'm looking stars in the sky because this is my ideal freedom. This is teen's night. does does this sound natural?
A Teen age's night---Yutaka Ozaki
盗んだバイクで走り出す。行き先も分からぬまま、暗い夜の帳の中へ。
I'm... Running away on the motorcycle which I stole on the road.
I don't know where am I going to go....I am going into the darkness which nothing known my destination.
覚えたての煙草をふかし、星空を見つめながら、自由を求め続けた、15の夜。
Smoking cigarettes are not tasty but I'm looking stars in the sky because this is my ideal freedom. This is teen's night. does does this sound natural?
Please select an answer.
Native language
English (UK)
A little unnatural
(My Japanese is poor so i'm just correcting your English, i can't understand what you want to say in Japanese)
*riding away on the motorcycle
(Running = on your feet. Riding = on a bike/motorbike)
*darkness, not knowing my destination
(Your original sentence didn't make sense, this is more natural)
*smoking cigarettes isn't pleasant
(Smoking cigarettes (to smoke cigarettes) is an action, thus it's singular. Tasty is used with food, so it sounds odd to use it with cigarettes. Pleasant has the same feeling, but it's more natural)
*looking at the stars
("Look at" is the phrasal verb. It sounds more natural to specify "the" stars.)
*this is a teenager's night
(Teen is fine, but you need to add "a", and to me teenager sounds a bit more natural within the writing.)
*riding away on the motorcycle
(Running = on your feet. Riding = on a bike/motorbike)
*darkness, not knowing my destination
(Your original sentence didn't make sense, this is more natural)
*smoking cigarettes isn't pleasant
(Smoking cigarettes (to smoke cigarettes) is an action, thus it's singular. Tasty is used with food, so it sounds odd to use it with cigarettes. Pleasant has the same feeling, but it's more natural)
*looking at the stars
("Look at" is the phrasal verb. It sounds more natural to specify "the" stars.)
*this is a teenager's night
(Teen is fine, but you need to add "a", and to me teenager sounds a bit more natural within the writing.)
Native language
English (UK)
A little unnatural
(My Japanese is poor so i'm just correcting your English, i can't understand what you want to say in Japanese)
*riding away on the motorcycle
(Running = on your feet. Riding = on a bike/motorbike)
*darkness, not knowing my destination
(Your original sentence didn't make sense, this is more natural)
*smoking cigarettes isn't pleasant
(Smoking cigarettes (to smoke cigarettes) is an action, thus it's singular. Tasty is used with food, so it sounds odd to use it with cigarettes. Pleasant has the same feeling, but it's more natural)
*looking at the stars
("Look at" is the phrasal verb. It sounds more natural to specify "the" stars.)
*this is a teenager's night
(Teen is fine, but you need to add "a", and to me teenager sounds a bit more natural within the writing.)
*riding away on the motorcycle
(Running = on your feet. Riding = on a bike/motorbike)
*darkness, not knowing my destination
(Your original sentence didn't make sense, this is more natural)
*smoking cigarettes isn't pleasant
(Smoking cigarettes (to smoke cigarettes) is an action, thus it's singular. Tasty is used with food, so it sounds odd to use it with cigarettes. Pleasant has the same feeling, but it's more natural)
*looking at the stars
("Look at" is the phrasal verb. It sounds more natural to specify "the" stars.)
*this is a teenager's night
(Teen is fine, but you need to add "a", and to me teenager sounds a bit more natural within the writing.)
Native language
Japanese
15の夜---尾崎豊
A Teenager's night---Translated by Kathy Kit
The sky on the highest building I'm looking to the dream that I couldn't touch by my hand.
I wish to break my prison of my heart.
We are... Striking and intimidating to adults, they've never understood our feelings.
Then our batty mates is planning to go away from their houses and schools.
Never we want to go back to our prisons our life.
I'm fearing for unknowing who am I.
This is teenager's night
I'm... Riding away on the motorbike which I stole on the road.
I don't know where am I going to go....I am going into the darkness not knowing my destination.
Smoking cigarettes are just a way, I'm looking at stars in the sky because this is my ideal freedom. This is teenager's night
A Teenager's night---Translated by Kathy Kit
The sky on the highest building I'm looking to the dream that I couldn't touch by my hand.
I wish to break my prison of my heart.
We are... Striking and intimidating to adults, they've never understood our feelings.
Then our batty mates is planning to go away from their houses and schools.
Never we want to go back to our prisons our life.
I'm fearing for unknowing who am I.
This is teenager's night
I'm... Riding away on the motorbike which I stole on the road.
I don't know where am I going to go....I am going into the darkness not knowing my destination.
Smoking cigarettes are just a way, I'm looking at stars in the sky because this is my ideal freedom. This is teenager's night
Native language
Japanese
I don't understand
全然違う話をするので「意味が通じない」にしました。あしからず（笑）
イギリス英語の一番上だったので気付きました。いろんな歌詞を訳しているのですね。
ところで
6/22のsongsで時代の特集がありましたよ。
では、また。
P.S.
What I wanted to say was that "a program about Miyuki was broadcasted on NHK".
I am so sorry to write it down in a wrong place to write.
イギリス英語の一番上だったので気付きました。いろんな歌詞を訳しているのですね。
ところで
6/22のsongsで時代の特集がありましたよ。
では、また。
P.S.
What I wanted to say was that "a program about Miyuki was broadcasted on NHK".
I am so sorry to write it down in a wrong place to write.
Native language
Japanese
@PAPUO sorry I couldn't understand your Japanese expressions
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