What does "all the ego" and "so" mean?

"I just quit, that's all," Franny said. "It started embarrassing me. I began to feel like such a nasty little egomaniac." She reflected. "I don't know. It seemed like such poor taste, sort of, to want to act in the first place. I mean all the ego. And I used to hate myself so, when I was in a play, to be backstage after the play was over. All those egos running around feeling terribly charitable and warm.

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Answers

laura

7 Jul 2014

English (US)

"all the ego" is basically her complaining that there was a lot of egotistical people there as you could feel it in the atmosphere. "so" in that context could either be used to say "a lot" or to connect her actions to her self hatred.

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fuxi

7 Jul 2014

Japanese

Thanks a lot. Basic words are most difficult for me.

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randomactsof

9 Jul 2014

English (US)

Could I have more context for this? I feel like "ego" might mean something else in this particular example...

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fuxi

10 Jul 2014

Japanese

It was like this.

"You quit?" Lane looked up. "I thought you were so mad about the part. What happened? They give it to somebody else?"

"No, they did not. It was all mine. That's nasty. Oh, that's nasty."

"Well, what happened? You didn't quit the whole department, did you?"

Franny nodded, and took a sip of her milk. Lane waited till he had chewed and swallowed, then said, "Why, for God's sake? I thought the goddam theatre was your passion. It's about the only thing I've ever heard you—"

"I just quit, that's all," Franny said. "It started embarrassing me. I began to feel like such a nasty little egomaniac." She reflected. "I don't know. It seemed like such poor taste, sort of, to want to act in the first place. I mean all the ego. And I used to hate myself so, when I was in a play, to be backstage after the play was over. All those egos running around feeling terribly charitable and warm. Kissing everybody and wearing their makeup all over the place, and then trying to be horribly natural and friendly when your friends came backstage to see you. I just hated myself. . . . And the worst part was I was usually sort of ashamed to be in the plays I was in. Especially in summer stock." She looked at Lane. "And I had good parts, so don't look at me that way. It wasn't that. It was just that I would've been ashamed if, say, anybody I respected—my brothers, for example—came and heard me deliver some of the lines I had to say.

randomactsof

10 Jul 2014

English (US)

This is a bit complicated.
"It started embarrassing me. I began to feel like such a nasty little egomaniac." Here, Franny is describing her self-hate of the change in her own personality; she feels that the atmosphere of theater is negatively affecting her personality, changing her into an "egomaniac," a self-important person. She despises this change because it's not her real character.

"I mean, all the ego." This is actually referring to her personality changes, which she projects at work. "all the ~" is fairly synonymous with "a lot of", especially in this sentence. It implies that she feels her sense of self-importance ("ego") has increased to a degree that she is not comfortable with.

"And I used to hate myself so": The sentence should be "And i used to hate myself so much", but slang sometimes drops words. The meaning is essentially "And I used to hate myself a LOT"

"All those egos running around": The personification of "ego" here is being used to describe the other actors, and to show how self-important they see themselves.

If this goes over your head, don't worry. This is advanced literary analysis on a senior high school/college level, so it's pretty cool that you understand most of it already. :)

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fuxi

10 Jul 2014

Japanese

Thanks for answering lots of questions. By the way, this novel is Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger.
Isn't there any possibility that "so" means "like that" ?

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