Question
23 Jul 2014
- Japanese
-
English (US)
Question about English (US)
What is the difference between I understand their pain. and I see their pain. and I feel their pain. ?Feel free to just provide example sentences.
What is the difference between I understand their pain. and I see their pain. and I feel their pain. ?Feel free to just provide example sentences.
Answers
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- English (US)
To understand implies that you have been in their situation, and is also the most empathetic of the three. To see implies that you see their pain, but also that you don't care, and therefore is the least empathetic. To feel their pain implies that whatever is causing their pain is hurting you too, like for example, their brother, a close friend of yours, is extremely sick. To feel is probably the safest thing to say, as the other two can be met with hostility.
- Japanese
About the sentence with "understand", even though it is the most empathetic expression, why could it cause hostility?
- English (US)
To say to someone in an emotional crisis that "you understand their pain" could also be considered presumptuous or rude, depending on the situation and how well you know the person. It isn't quite the cliche that "I feel your pain" has become, but it is close. Sometimes it's best to simply listen, but if you have also been there it's better to relate your experience. For example, "I understand, my father died of cancer too." It closes the distance and let's the other person know that they are not alone in the situation.
- Japanese
Thanks a lot. Could I ask what the sentence "It isn't quite the cliche that "I feel your pain" has become, but it is close. " mean? Thanks again.
- English (US)
"I feel your pain" is said extremely often, to the point where it has lost its meaning. And understand is becoming more common too.
- English (US)
My pleasure! A cliche (as I'm using the word, there are many other definitions) is an phase or word that has been overused to the point where it is considered to be empty of intention, emotion or content. "I feel your pain." was famously (in the US) used by President Bill Clinton to console a distraught young girl during the summer floods of 1994 in Iowa.
The phrase has been overused since that time, sometimes rather sarcastically, especially when spoken in a fake US "Southern accent"; and therefore can be taken as an expression of insincerity.
NB: A US "southern accent" is often used by english speaking voice actors when dubbing an anime where the original voice actor speaks with a Kansai accent. This, too, is often considered a cliche.
- Japanese
Thanks for your thorough and clear explanation. I got to learn lots of things from you.:-)

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