(No.27)
Could anyone on HiNative read my dialogue and give me some advice?
I want it to be more natural and casual.
Tommy: What time are we going to leave tommorow?
May: It depends on whther we stop by the church on the way to the orphanage.
The church offers all volunteer workers free chai and biscuits for breakfast, but it's very far from the orphanage.
We'll have to leave here at 6:30 at the latest, take a terribly crowded bus and walk for more than 20 minutes... tough, isn't it??
But if we buy breakfast for ourselves around here, we can take a subway at Park Street only 300 hundred meters away from this hotel, and we'll arrive at the orphanage in 20 minutes.
Probably we'll be in time if we leave here around 7:30 after breakfast.
Tommy: Which do you prefer?
May: I prefer the latter actually.
Tommy: OK, let's get off at 7 and have breakfast at the street chai shop.
May: OK.
Does this sound natural?
Could anyone on HiNative read my dialogue and give me some advice?
I want it to be more natural and casual.
Tommy: What time are we going to leave tommorow?
May: It depends on whther we stop by the church on the way to the orphanage.
The church offers all volunteer workers free chai and biscuits for breakfast, but it's very far from the orphanage.
We'll have to leave here at 6:30 at the latest, take a terribly crowded bus and walk for more than 20 minutes... tough, isn't it??
But if we buy breakfast for ourselves around here, we can take a subway at Park Street only 300 hundred meters away from this hotel, and we'll arrive at the orphanage in 20 minutes.
Probably we'll be in time if we leave here around 7:30 after breakfast.
Tommy: Which do you prefer?
May: I prefer the latter actually.
Tommy: OK, let's get off at 7 and have breakfast at the street chai shop.
May: OK.
Does this sound natural?
If you think there are too many points to correct, rewrite the whole dialogue as you like, please. I'd appreciate it^^
- English (US)
Natural
It’s good, but it depends on who is speaking. I don’t think anyone really says “the latter”, so maybe replace that with, “let’s get something around here” or something like that
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- English (US)
Natural
It’s good, but it depends on who is speaking. I don’t think anyone really says “the latter”, so maybe replace that with, “let’s get something around here” or something like that
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@Jensen Thank you so much for your help^^
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