Question
Updated on
20 Jan 2018
- Japanese
-
English (US)
-
Spanish (Spain)
Closed question
Question about English (US)
The theme is aspects of the internet.
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First of all, I strongly believe that the internet has two faces which include both merits and demerits.
Certainly, we could always contact everyone using devices in the all over the world and we can get much information through one regardless of a place, which is beneficial and brings a breakthrough in our daily lives than before.
On the other hand, We must take care of our information leaks and a hacking from the outside.
When we post our private information on "SNS" such as "Facebook" "Instagram" and the others,
We must deeply consider whether the shared information includes any problems or not in advance so as to avert troubles.
Therefore, we need to recognize both aspects of benefits and included risks on the internet.
The theme is aspects of the internet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
First of all, I strongly believe that the internet has two faces which include both merits and demerits.
Certainly, we could always contact everyone using devices in the all over the world and we can get much information through one regardless of a place, which is beneficial and brings a breakthrough in our daily lives than before.
On the other hand, We must take care of our information leaks and a hacking from the outside.
When we post our private information on "SNS" such as "Facebook" "Instagram" and the others,
We must deeply consider whether the shared information includes any problems or not in advance so as to avert troubles.
Therefore, we need to recognize both aspects of benefits and included risks on the internet.
Hi everyone!!!
I plan to apply to the Cambridge English exam FCE in this year.
then, I have a request for improving my witting skills.
Can you check my small essay following?
Someones please help me!!
I plan to apply to the Cambridge English exam FCE in this year.
then, I have a request for improving my witting skills.
Can you check my small essay following?
Someones please help me!!
Answers
20 Jan 2018
Featured answer
- English (US)
- English (UK)
Your essay is good. In some cases the length of your sentences could be reduced, such as:
""Certainly, we could always contact everyone using devices in the all over the world and we can get much information through one regardless of a place, which is beneficial and brings a breakthrough in our daily lives than before"
Can also be written as:
One of the merits being that we are able to contact people from all over the world using a device which fits into our hand. We are also able to obtain information very quickly on a wide variety of topics.
Also do not use abbreviations in writing such as "SNS". Write the entire words out.
I hope that this helps. Let me know if you have any questions.
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- English (US)
- English (UK)
Your essay is good. In some cases the length of your sentences could be reduced, such as:
""Certainly, we could always contact everyone using devices in the all over the world and we can get much information through one regardless of a place, which is beneficial and brings a breakthrough in our daily lives than before"
Can also be written as:
One of the merits being that we are able to contact people from all over the world using a device which fits into our hand. We are also able to obtain information very quickly on a wide variety of topics.
Also do not use abbreviations in writing such as "SNS". Write the entire words out.
I hope that this helps. Let me know if you have any questions.
Highly-rated answerer
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- Japanese
@shikaarm1
Thank you for your lecture.
It is very helpful for me and your opinion is very coherent !!
Thanks a lot !!
Thank you for your lecture.
It is very helpful for me and your opinion is very coherent !!
Thanks a lot !!
- English (US)
- English (UK)
@keiji1020 No problem :) All the best for your exam. I'm planning on writing the JLPT N5 so your help would also benefit me!
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