7 Apr 2018

Simplified Chinese (China) Traditional Chinese (Hong Kong)
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Question about English (UK)

Could someone help me revise my essay?This is my first time I writre an essay by myself.I do not know did I said that right?
Technology has been of great importance all throughout history.These days, however, some people claim that technology makes children less creative than they were in the past.As far as I concern, I reject this notion and instead believe that technology is playing a crucial role in the creativity of children.
First of all, as computers have become all the more popular in modern times, children can use them to do a lot of things which help them improve the ability of creation.Thanks to advanced technology, children have more ways to train their creativity.For instance, there are many kinds of puzzles games on the computer.By playing these interesting game, children cannot only enjoy themselves but also cultivate their ability of thinking independently which is good for creativity.So the technology allows children to do more activities which are beneficial for the intellectual development of children.
Secondly,with the advanced technology, children have more access to learn about new things.By learning more knowledge, children can be more intelligent and creative.For instance, there are many ways for children to choose to learn in the Internet, such as online classes, educated program TV show and even documentary and so on.Through watching them children are able to learn much more extra knowledge which are not covered in their school classes.Because of the advanced technology, it is becoming a trend nowadays that children can easier gain knowledge from the Internet than the children in the past are not bei allowed to do.
Finally, with the highest growth in technology, children are able to watch many colorful movies in cinema which allows children to recognize the world and inspire their imagination.Imagination is one of the important parts of the creativity.For example, there are many kinds of movies which are wonderful and vivid like the Harry Potter series.By watching these wonderful movies, children are able to learn how the world work and be encouraged to be imaginative.Children now are able to watch wonderful movies that help them become imaginative through advanced technology, however, children in the past cannot do these things.
In conclusion, technology is important to the development of child's creation because it allows children to think independently by playing puzzles game, gain more knowledge in many ways, stimulate their imagination.It should be kept in mind that technology is not only beneficial for the development of children but also the development of the whole world.

hope you guys don't think it is too long
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