Ielstの例文や意味・使い方に関するQ&A

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Q: I want to check my IELST exam practice writing. If there are any mistakes and unnatural phrases, please correct them!

There was the tendency that the number of enquiries in person increased from January to June and it peaked at about 1900 in June, whereas, once the figure of questions by telephone decreased between January and February, moreover, remained unchanged from march to April, however it continued to rise from February to June. In contrast, there was the trend that the number of letter or email contact continued to decrease except for one month from February to March.

The number of " in person" went up drastically from March to April, while, the upward tendency of enquiries by telephone was seen between April to March.
A: That's not too bad.

So there's something in English called a "run-on sentence." Essentially it means that as you add more commas, eventually the sentence gets out of control and becomes too hard to understand. Even native speakers have this problem. In this case I would use a full stop after "1900 in June."

The way you've used "once" and "moreover" here is unnatural.

The general form for this sense of "once" is something like, "once A happened, B happened" which implies a causal link between the two things. So you could say, "once the mall opened its doors on the day of the big sale, there was no stopping the tide of desperate shoppers pouring inside."

As for "moreover," it's a rather formal word which we use to add further justification. For example, "smoking cigarettes is terrible for your health and is moreover a notoriously expensive addiction."

You'll also want to specify "in person contacts/enquiries" in the last sentence. It's obvious what you're referring to but it's quite awkward to leave it hanging.

Generally I can't complain much. Turning a graph into prose is a difficult form of technical communication, and English speakers would tend to do it badly unless they went to university for a technical career. For what it's worth I would write this:

"Enquiries by letter and e-mail to the Tourist Information Office remained stable at approximately 700 per month in January through March, declined to approximately 400 per month across April and May, and remained at that level in June. Those in person steadily rose from approximately 400 per month in January to approximately 1,900 per month in June. Finally, enquiries by telephone fluctuated between roughly 800-1,000 per month from January to April, then increased to approximately 1,600 per month through May and June. Overall, in person enquiries went from the least common to the most common form of enquiry across this six month period, while letter and email enquiries became comparatively rare by June. In addition, the total number of enquiries at this office has significantly increased from an estimated 2,300 in January to an estimated 3,900 in June."
Q: I want to check my IELST exam practice writing. If there are any mistakes and unnatural phrases, please correct them!

There was the tendency that the number of enquiries in person increased from January to June and it peaked at about 1900 in June, whereas, once the figure of questions by telephone decreased between January and February, moreover, remained unchanged from march to April, however it continued to rise from February to June. In contrast, there was the trend that the number of letter or email contact continued to decrease except for one month from February to March.

The number of " in person" went up drastically from March to April, while, the upward tendency of enquiries by telephone was seen between April to March.
A: There was the tendency that the number of enquiries in person (this should be "in person enquiries" not "enquiries in person") increased from January to June and it peaked ("peaking" would sound better than "and it peaked") at about 1900 in June, whereas, once the figure of questions by telephone decreased between January and February, moreover, remained unchanged from march to April, however it continued to rise from February to June. In contrast, there was the trend that the number of letter or email contact continued to decrease except for one month from February to March.

The number of " in person" went up drastically from March to April, while, the upward tendency of enquiries by telephone was seen between April to March.

this is really good!!! only issues I would say is punctuation, my suggestions about words are also not corrections just suggestions so you can choose to leave it. However, I had to read the text a few times to realise what you were trying to say, as it wasn't clear when you were talking about one set of data or the other so maybe look at making that clearer.
Q: I'm learning IELST in Peking university. この表現は自然ですか?
A: More natural to say "..at Peking University"

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