这是一篇我写的英语论文，要求是critical writing. 我想知道我的这篇英语论文有哪些地方不足，需要进一步修改。我想多请教一些大神来修改，因为不同的人有不同的看法。这些对我的帮助很大。非常感谢~
This is my English essay , which requires critical writing . I want to know the deficiencies in my English essay where need to be further revised . Thank you very much .

My essay:
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory was created by behavioral psychologist Abraham H. Maslow in 1943 and is a valuable approach to employee motivation. Based on the urgency and priority of different needs, Maslow (1943) categorizes these needs into five levels from lower to higher: physiological needs, safety needs, belonging and love needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. Maslow (1943) states that people often fulfill lower needs before meeting upper needs. This is supported by several recent studies that show this theory is basically in line with the general rules of people's motivation (Adair, 2009; Benson and Dundis, 2003; Sadri and Clarke Bowen, 2011). Moreover, according to Kermally (2004), Maslow's theory has become an instructive guideline to gain perceptive insight into the motivation and form the foundation of motivation training. Nevertheless, this theory has been vigorously challenged in recent years by many writers who demonstrate that Maslow's theory has limitations in motivating employees and cannot be universally used in all business contexts (Geren, 2011). This essay will evaluate Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory concerning employee motivation and argue that while this theory may be useful in some business contexts, it still cannot be widely accepted due to some deficiencies. This essay will first explore the arguments in favor of the application of Maslow's theory in some international business scenarios and then claim the counter argument against Maslow's theory as this theory has limitations and cannot be applied generally.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory tends to be applied by several firms to motivate employees in some business scenarios. One example of this is using Maslow's theory to solve a severe labor problem by meeting staff requirements in a Latin American industrial setting (Cangemi, 2009). Cangemi (2009) states that managers' over concern for production and overlook of real worker needs is one of the reasons causing this continuing labor dispute. It seems likely that Maslow's theory presents a means for the company's top management group to have a better understanding of employee behavior than under the control of boss style management. This approach ultimately improves the labor and management situation in Latin America (Cangemi, 2009). In addition, Sadri and Clarke Bowen (2011) claim that companies are likely to adopt appropriate motivators to satisfy needs at five levels of the hierarchy. For example, monetary compensation, health coverage to family members, the provision of titles, and promotions are three possible strategies used to satisfy needs from basic to advanced, respectively (Sadri and Clarke Bowen, 2011). This indicates that Maslow' Theory could help managers identify different levels of staff needs and adopt proper strategies to fulfill these needs. Moreover, Benson and Dundis (2003) also argue that Maslow's model provides opportunities for managers to give employees a sense of being secured, needed, and appreciated in the business setting. This could improve employee engagement and increase overall company revenues as a motivated workforce may be more creative, productive, and loyal. Overall, Maslow's theory appears to be employed in some business contexts to meet employee motivation.

While Maslow's Theory may be adopted as a solution to the staff's motivation in some companies, disregard for individual differences restricts it from being universally accepted. One reason for this is the premise of Maslow's theory probably fails to consider individual differences. According to Geren (2011), one of the premises of Maslow's hierarchy of needs is that people can proceed to the higher-level needs only after fulfilling the lower-level needs. However, Gordon-Rouse (2004) states that employees are likely to meet the higher levels of needs without fulfilling the lower levels of needs. For example, Gordon-Rouse (2004) states that teachers without high salaries may be struggling to meet physiological and safety needs, but they can quickly meet belonging and self-esteem needs daily. Another example of this is that with respect to lifeguards, satisfying esteem needs is of utmost importance than any other needs (Rahimi, 2016). Rahimi (2016) states that the behavior of lifeguards is volitional and meaningful, but these employees often cannot gain enough care; therefore, they tend to put esteem needs in the first place. These two examples indicate that this premise of Maslow's theory is less likely to be accurate in all cases as employee needs are probably too complex to be mechanically divided into five levels, and workers in certain occupations place more importance on particular needs. It is clear that the order of needs tends to be different from employees in various positions, and employees are often not motivated by successively higher needs in Maslow's hierarchy. Moreover, according to Rahimi (2016), physiological and safety needs are essential for women, while social, esteem, and self-actualization needs are important for men. It can be seen from this that the hierarchy of needs is distinct from two genders and men may regard social needs as the lowest needs which opposites to Maslow's theory as physiological needs are put at the bottom of the theory' pyramid form. In short, employee needs are less likely to be structured in a fixed hierarchy. Therefore, Maslow's theory could not be in line with the real needs of employees in some business contexts.

Similarly, it is arguable that Maslow's theory is likely to neglect individual differences because employees tend to be motivated by various needs simultaneously. Kermally (2004) argues that there is a horizontal connection between various needs that employees are often driven by different levels of needs concurrently, but Maslow's theory seems to ignore this horizontal connection. For instance, workers whose jobs are vulnerable to climate change seem to seek security and self-actualization needs simultaneously (Kermally, 2004).In addition, according to Yang (2011), employees are possible to fulfill more than one need at the same time. Therefore, many companies reward their employees by adopting various strategies simultaneously. For example, employees may be assured job security, provided a harmonious working environment, and increased income by companies concurrently (Yang, 2011). Moreover, Gordon-Rouse (2004) shows that employees motivated by more than one needs to simultaneously possibly keep higher productivity at work, and thus, Maslow's theory could not meet requirements for employee incentives in some companies. In general, Maslow's theory pays more attention to the vertical connection between various needs, but is less likely to consider the horizontal one, and this deficiency probably leads to restrictions of its applications in many scenarios.

Another problem with using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory to motivate employees is that this theory tends to ignore cultural differences. Gambrel and Cianci (2003) point out that Maslow's theory was developed in the United States of America middle-class value and it may not apply to the oriental countries because the west and the east have enormous differences in economic systems and culture. For example, in a collectivist society such as China, the position of belonging needs in the Chinese hierarchy of needs differs from this in the Maslow's theory (Gambrel and Cianci, 2003). Additionally, Geren (2011) also claims that employees in China tend to focus on social needs and esteem needs over self-actualization needs, while workers in western societies put self-actualization needs at the top. It can be seen from this that managers cannot apply the same model to motivate employees in both the east and the west as eastern society stresses the collective behavior over individual behavior while western society turns to be the opposite. In addition, Jelavic and Ogilvie (2010) state that the cultural factor tends to have a profound impact on rearranging the order of five needs of Maslow's theory. According to Jelavic and Ogilvie (2010), safety and belonging needs could be ranked near the top of the hierarchy in the non-English-speaking world. This means that applying Maslow's theory to motivate employees in oriental countries has limitations as this theory does not mention cultural differences between the west and the east. In general, Maslow's theory without regard to cultural differences cannot be implemented in all cultures as cultural value systems are significant for work motivation.

In conclusion, Maslow's theory seems to be useful in some international business contexts, but is still criticized because of some limitations. Overall, Maslow's theory is likely to offer some constructive ideas for understanding employee needs and ways of satisfying them. However, this theory appears to lack flexibility to a large extent because the hierarchy of five needs that Maslow's theory orders are conceivably challenged in many business settings. Moreover, the model of this theory is too unsophisticated as Maslow considers only a narrow segment of the population, which results in its lack of validity across different individuals and cultures. Therefore, companies should customize incentive systems in line with the real needs of each employee in different occupations, which may help them be aware of differences in individual characteristics of employees when applying Maslow's theory in the workplace. Another recommendation is that cultural differences should be considered in advance and managers should apply Maslow's theory critically in agreement with the cultural differences, to develop incentive systems that conform to local cultural customs where companies locate.