Question
11 Apr 2021
- English (US)
- Filipino
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Korean
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English (UK)
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Japanese
Question about Korea, Republic Of
Is it true that the eldest son is not allowed to marry a foreigner?
Is it true that the eldest son is not allowed to marry a foreigner?
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- Country or region Korea, Republic Of
???? No, it is not true. I'm sure Korean parents will be happy if their kids(eldest, middle, youngest, or whoever...) want to marry because more and more Koreans (in their 20s~40s) want to enjoy their own life not getting married.
- Country or region Philippines
@Gongbuhaja thanks for clearing that up. I’ve seen this in my twitter timeline and was taken aback. I did some Google search and some people appeared to say it was true because of tradition and that's why I thought to ask in here. Glad to know that they can enjoy their own life and love whoever they want
- Country or region Korea, Republic Of
@aylamae
It could be true in the past like a few decades ago when Korea was highly patriarchal. Now, international marriage is actually common among Koreans whether or not someone is the eldest kid. Besides, the Korean government has been boosting multiculturalism since the early 2000s due to concerns about population decline. Korea’s fertility rate was the lowest of any country in the world as of 2019 and 2020.
By the way, although international marriage is not rare at all these days in Korea, there're still negative views on getting married, particularly, to those who're from some developing countries due to the growing concerns about '매매혼(marriage based on only money: purchasing marriage)'. It's because it turned out that many of the young brides (usually in their early 20s, sometimes even teenagers 😑) from those countries come to Korea through so-called a 'marriage agency' just to obtain Korea's permanent resident visa in an easy way. I don't know how to explain this term '매매혼' exactly in English.
It means (usually) old, uneducated, poor Korean men who're struggling to marry Korean women 'purchase' young foreign women from some developing countries through marriage agencies and get married after they see each other only once or twice. The age gap between those couples is nearly 20 years or sometimes more than 20 years, and the most ridiculous thing is that usually, they don't know each others' language.
Since this type of marriage is undoubtedly 'abnormal', it is criticized a lot by Koreans and it has been causing a lot of side effects in many aspects. It's still one of the most serious social issues in Korea.
- Country or region Russian Federation
There is a procedure to marry someone who is non-Korean by law, but there is another reason why it is difficult for the older son or older grandson to marry a foreigner.
To explain the background, Like a Kind of old customs in a hierarchy system of Confucian, the Oldest brother's son called "장남(The Older son)", and his son, who would be succeeding the family lineage, was referred to as "장손(The Oldest Grandson)" and was treated highly among grandchildren since old times.
According to Confucian tradition, the older son and the oldest grandson have a heavy born natural responsibility to lead the ancestral rites ceremony of the family. So, He had to rise up himself and feeding the entire family members. Therefore, parents' excessive protection sometimes brings back jealousy by other brothers who were often obtained together. Also, The inheritance of parents used to be distributed differently by brother's hierarchy status.
Recently, drastic changes in each family member's composition and the Meaning of "Succeeding the Lineage" has decreased a lot, so it is not considered important than in past, but it still a lot of influence remains among older generations who Confucian fellowship.
If the older son or the older grandson wants to have a foreign wife in such a family, he will have to endure a lot of opposition and pressure from elders. That's why they can hardly get married.
While others may accuse it of being outdated or discriminatory, it is a culture that has lasted hundreds of years among them. It's difficult to judge easily. If he really wants with her, has to endure it, or he living alone and disconnects from his family.
- Country or region Philippines
@Gongbuhaja @DannyJoung thanks to both of you I'm more aware of these things. Learning new stuff here everyday.

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